I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
His hands were made for my vagina.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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