***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
