Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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