Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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