marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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