You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I FOUND THE LEGS
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
