Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
