Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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