turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
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