New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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