You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
