Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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