i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
