can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
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