All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
