doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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