Just mADE A PArabola og urine
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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