i love accidental penises.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
