so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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