Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
This gyro tastes like lonliness
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
They have beer where we have blood.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
