Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
