a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
