Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
