Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
