My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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