it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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