when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i already hear my dad disowning me
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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