If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
