they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
