I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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