Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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