My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
My cat gives me a boner
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
