never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
