we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
