Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
