hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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