You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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