she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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