idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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