My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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