SEEEEXXX PLEASE
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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