I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize