Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
