i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
