um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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