All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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