WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
