I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
