Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
