Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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