like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize