This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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