Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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