I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
