Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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