toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize