I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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