I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
