dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
The best revenge is premature balding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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