I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
